Knowing something in our heads is much different than truly believing something. I’m actually surprised at myself sometimes by the things that bubble up, from somewhere deep, deep down inside of me.
I know so many of God’s truths. It’s super easy to read a Scripture or echo one, but it’s a different thing altogether when we’re face to face with situations where what’s rooted in our hearts comes unexpectedly into the light, and it doesn’t match up with what we say is truth.
Our initial reactions have a way of revealing what’s in our hearts
We’ve stepped out in faith before and seen God move our “mountains” and pave the way before us, but when we’re settled in and comfortable and change comes into our lives abruptly and unwelcome why is it so easy to put up a fight and default to unbelief and fear?
I know the truth in my head, but what comes up in my heart and my emotions doesn’t always match up immediately with that.
For the most part I make decisions out of my thinker side and not my feeler side. Even though I may feel very passionate or emotionally attached to a situation, I pretty much immediately know the logical decision that should be made and thus my head usually wins out over my emotions or heart attachments.
In some ways I’m very thankful for this. It’s generally my default and allows me to push forward through hard circumstances and enables me to make solid decisions that I don’t regret later.
But then sometimes, so out of the blue it seems, when my guard is down and I’m talking about something or I encounter a situation where what’s really in my heart comes flooding out, then I’m forced to see a disconnect.
It’s not particularly pleasing.
I’m also learning that it’s not the end of the world. It doesn’t mean that I’ve screwed up and failed the test. It means that I’m human and I’m still in process…just like everyone else. We will never “arrive” this side of Jesus’ return. It’s a part of sanctification, a part of being formed into the likeness of Christ.
I’ve come face to face with these struggles lately in the midst of transition, of waiting, of seeking, and waiting some more. Sometimes I get down on myself for not being where I want to be in my faith, for not having things all figured out and for doubting Him…again.
During these times we must strategically put our hope in Him. We must be remembers of what He’s already done in our lives and use that to propel us forward into the next season. He has never abandoned us before, so how could He start now?
It’s not in His character to break promises or be unfaithful to us.
Many people that I know are in quite intense seasons of waiting on the Lord and transitioning and stepping into unknown territory. Some days we feel like we’re on the verge of drowning, gasping in just enough air to survive until we get swept back under the waves again.
We feel in over our heads and unsure of the road ahead.
I can’t promise that the path will be easy. There will be heartache and pain and most likely more questions than answers.
But He’s proven to me yet again that He is faithful. He is the One leading us and guiding us.
My heart is shaken when I look to the uncertain things of the world instead of into the steadfast eyes of my Father. It is there, eyes locked with His, that the fear and confusion melt away. It is there in His presence that I find peace and rest.
He didn’t go anywhere. He didn’t change. We just tend to get antsy in the waiting.
I’ve also found comfort and encouragement in community. The enemy whispers lies to us that we’re alone and no one understands and that silence and isolation is the best solution to getting through these times. It’s simply not true though.
Be encouraged, friend. You are not alone. There is a point to all of this. We are being refined in the process. We are growing and maturing and deepening our roots, learning to lean into Him. So instead of fighting the process, let’s dig in.
There is hope.
“I believe (confirm, support) that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living! Wait (look eagerly, expect) for the LORD; be strong (bold, alert), and let your heart take courage (grow strong); wait (look eagerly, expect) for the LORD!”