Jessica Robbins

I’ve joined a “My 500 Words” challenge which means that I will be attempting to write at least 500 unedited (for the most part) words for the next 31 days. Please bear with me as I take on this challenge and see where it leads over this next month.

Honestly, I’m a bit afraid. What if I fail miserably? What if my unedited words come out horribly wrong? What if I don’t do it perfectly?

Originally I wasn’t going to post this challenge to my blog. Too risky I thought. But I’m in a new season right now. It’s one of pressing in and overcoming fear with love and not sitting back any longer. It’s wonderfully terrifying in all sorts of ways.

Stripping off people approval and leaving behind the fear of man don’t seem to come natural at first. It’s uncomfortable. You almost feel naked and vulnerable. Unsure of how to act or what to do if those aren’t your motivations for why you do what you do any longer.

But once you get a taste of the freedom, of what it feels like to live FROM a place of approval instead of FOR approval, you never want to go back. You trip and fall along the way, sometimes even running back to your old ways, but eventually you have to leave. You can’t stay in that place any longer because you know there’s more to life and more to you and God than living that way.

I’m still very much on a journey of discovery. I’m learning a lot about myself and my Father and the people that He loves so deeply. I’m surprised at some of the things I find I enjoy and might even be good at. I know more about what I don’t like to do and am becoming more and more okay with saying no to what I don’t want to be involved in and not even feeling guilty about it.

As I continue to step out I see incredible ways that God aligns my path and connects me with specific people and places. It’s incredible and even unbelievable at times. I look and realize that can only be God’s work. It’s too crazy not to be.

He’s opening my eyes. He’s stirring my heart and propelling me forward.

Some days I feel in over my head and like I’m not even capable of treading water. Other days I feel like I’m soaring high above it all, taking in the most magnificent views.

The ups and downs remind that my heart is beating. I’m alive and feeling and engaging. The sweet times wouldn’t be as sweet if it weren’t for the bitter times.

I’m a hot mess, and I know it though sometimes I hate it. Let’s face it, I’ll never be June Cleaver all heels and pearls and perfection.

I’m on a journey. I’m learning to love and allow myself to be loved by others.

If you’re reading this then you’re in some way a part of my journey too. And now look, I’m already over my 500 words mark. 🙂

Thanks for reading. Thanks for journeying with me. Know that you’re not alone on this journey either. Let’s press ahead together knowing that far better things are ahead than we can ever imagine.

There is no place for fear when we’re immersed in love.

Let’s take a deep breath and cannon ball in!

Only 30 more days to go!