I was recently asked to share a story of faith from my life, and I ended up writing a little about my singleness journey. I found myself encouraged once again at the faithfulness and goodness God. Now, a few short blog posts cannot begin to touch the depths of what I’ve wrestled with and how God has pursued me over the past 20 (ish) years, but hopefully you’ll be encouraged. It’s been broken down into three posts so stay tuned. 🙂
I grew up in the country near a small town in Mississippi riding four-wheelers with my family, picking blueberries, running around the woods with my cousins, going to church, and playing softball. I was never particularly ambitious. I was easily satisfied with reading books, spending my time at home with my family, and enjoying the company of a few close friends. When I grew up, I just wanted to be a wife. My plan for my life was to get married as soon as possible and finish having kids by the time I was thirty. The Lord’s plans for me couldn’t have been more different. In hindsight, my ache for marriage and to be chosen had become my idol, and this would be something I would wrestle with deeply for many years.
I don’t remember exactly when it happened, but gradually the Holy Spirit began to stir in me. I was not content any longer. As I would come home from work and not be able to get my heart-rate down from the stress of my job, I would look into the future and wonder if that was all there was: working, being stressed, and then coming home too exhausted to even keep my bedroom clean. I had zero motivation to climb the corporate ladder, and my hope of marriage still seemed a vapor that couldn’t be grasped. I had been passively waiting on my real life to begin (when I got married of course), and then I finally realized that it already had! And so I began praying. Missions sparked my interest, although I had very little exposure. I applied for this 11-month mission trip around the world that I previously said I would never do, was accepted, and then promptly backed out. I didn’t have peace. It wasn’t the right time.
As I continued to desperately pray and seek for what I needed to do next, the Holy Spirit brought me back to my love of summer camp, which had been my life 3 summers during college. Within the time frame of a month or two, at the age of 22, I quit my full time, full benefits job and booked my first flight to Colorado to work at a Christian camp in the San Juan Mountains. I took that first massive leap of faith, said that first big yes to Him, and from then on, my life would never be the same…